reading last years journal notes

I got my journal out today and read some notes from just after our launch service. Man was it depressing!!! I can just hear the suffering oozing from the pages. I listed everything that went wrong. I wrote how i was standing in the parking lot waiting for cars to come and they didn't and then i didn't want to go inside and when i finally got the courage to go in the count down timer had hit zero and the worship leader said over the mic, "Oh there he is, Pastor T". Every head turned to look at me and it was silent as i walked up to the stage to greet everyone. I was devastated!!! Maybe these stories (and there are more) can encourage some church planter somewhere because we are still here and growing and doing great. Lives have been changed incredibly and we are effecting a community. I think the big lesson in this is that God wanted this church here and I said yes to the call to join Him. It's not about me or my expectations or my plan. It's all about His vision, His plans and His work. It was before i got to Vegas and it will be long after i am gone from this earth. So if you are seeking to do ministry, I would ask myself one very important question first. is this His idea or mine.